Leave The Light On
by WeBuiltThePyramids
Summary: "I promised Ralph." He could feel his throat closing up and he coughed, trying to keep his voice from sounding too emotional. "Drew was never around on his birthday. And I promised." Oneshot.


**I was supposed to publish this earlier but I got sidetracked reading** _ **Bliss**_ **and then by that episode because oh my god the last few minutes actually put me in the grave. But anyway, this is inspired largely by the season four Christmas episode of B99, there's some Friends and Man of the House and Hamilton references in here too but the actual inspiration for the ficlet was B99.**

* * *

Walter looked at the progress panel, even though he'd looked less than ninety seconds ago and knew it would say the same thing.

 _41% complete._

"Dammit." He glanced at his watch, even though he knew exactly what time it was, almost to the second, both here and back in Los Angeles. " _Dammit_."

The job in itself was fairly easy – at least for someone like Walter O'Brien. The terrorists were using a special software to mask their activities and keep radar and decoder equipment from picking up on their plans and activities. Homeland had discovered their location but didn't feel it was safe to move in on the cell, so Cabe and Walter had flown to the location, Walter designing a seemingly identical but completely useless program on the way, that would allow the United States to prepare for action without any indication that they had discovered anything. Once they got close enough, Walter could replace their existing programs with his. If he avoided detection – Cabe would wait on the ground floor of a nearby warehouse and he worked from the top floor – they would be in and out and on their way back home.

The problem was, replacing too much of their software with the dummy software too quickly could alert them to the activity. Based on calculations Walter and Sylvester had done together before he and Cabe left, Walter had to code and upload at a rate that was seventy five percent slower than was possible. With the massive size of the file and the limited internet access in that part of the country they were in, it'd take the better part of thirty hours.

Initially, they thought it'd take twenty four. But now that they were in place, Walter knew that the initial calculation had been off due to a misunderstanding over the strength of the internet with them and their agent on the inside. Ordinarily, Walter would shrug and attempt to make the best of the situation. But today was different.

" _I know you normally stay at the garage on Thursday nights," Ralph said. "And it's smart. Efficient. Prep for Friday's work and then we have an early weekend because the team finishes earlier. But..." his voice trailed off. "Friday is my birthday."_

 _Walter looked at Paige and smiled. Turning back to Ralph, he ruffled the boy's hair. "I know Friday is your birthday, bud," he said. "We're going to spend the day together, remember?"_

" _I want you to wake me up." Ralph looked down. "Drew never was home. On any of my birthdays. My mom would always wake me up for pancakes, and...I always imagined him waking me up too."_

Ralph had gone on to explain that for his entire life – including now – he would have dreams about his mother and father being the first thing he saw on his birthday. But, he'd said, almost shyly, over the years that picture had shifted. Drew wasn't the face he saw in his dreams anymore.

" _I'll be there," Walter said, smiling. "I promise I'll be there. Right next to your mom."_

 _Ralph hugged him. For all his development in E.Q., a Ralph hug was still rare. Walter looked back over at Paige. There were tears in her eyes._

"Still on course for a finish in eighteen hours?" Came Cabe's voice through the com.

"Uh, yeah," Walter said. "Yeah, we're right on the adjusted schedule. There's gonna be some weather in the area later...I don't know if you saw that on your radar." He let out a frustrated breath, thinking about how quickly this could be completed if he ran the upload on the full speed. This terror cell had no idea the United States was so close to their compound. They wouldn't necessarily be watching their security system for evidence of any alterations.

He had called Paige when they got there and set up, informing her that it could take six hours longer than they'd expected. He'd made the call brief, to the point, and she'd said she understood, and told him to be careful. He'd spent the last six hours feeling sick.

He dialed her again.

"Walter," she said. He could hear her smile. "Is everything going well? You still safe?"

"Oh, yes," Walter said. "They appear to have no idea."

"Good."

"I think you should leave the porch light on for me."

"What?"

"My mother..." Walter glanced back at his computer. Still no cause for alarm. "When Megan and I were going to be home after it got dark out, my mother would leave on our porch light. I know you don't have one, but...I'm going to be home tonight."

"Really?" Paige sounded excited. Then her tone grew cautious. "I thought you said it'd be another eighteen hours plus the flight back."

"It would be if I kept the upload at twenty five percent speed. But I'm going to increase it. One hundred percent. We'll be done much faster. And I'll be there to wake Ralph up with you."

There was a silence on the other end of the call. Walter pulled his phone from his ear and looked at the display. They hadn't disconnected. He lifted it again. "Paige?"

"I thought you said that there was a risk that they could find out what you're doing."

"It's a possibility at any speed," Walter said, "but chances are they won't be looking, I mean, they have absolutely no idea anyone is on to them."

"Walter, if you start running your system on full speed, they could pick up on it and storm the warehouse," Paige said.

"I know," Walter said, "but if they don't catch it, then I'll be done hours earlier. And I'll be there when Ralph wakes up."

"Walter." He could hear the emotion in her voice. "It's _dangerous._ "

"We're frequently in dangerous situations," Walter pointed out, his tone measured. "I have a fair amount of confidence that they will not notice their system being slowly disabled."

"Walter, the fact that you managed to say those words without sounding sarcastic tells me you genuinely believe that," Paige said. "But _what if they do_?"

"I have to try," Walter said. "I promised Ralph." He could feel his throat closing up and he coughed, trying to keep his voice from sounding too emotional. "Drew was never around on his birthday. And I _promised_..." He trailed off. He was failing to control his tone.

Paige once again fell silent, and Walter wondered if that meant he should say more. "I promised him that I'd be there and I can't break that promise. I have to take this risk because it's the only way it's even possible for me to wake him up with you. I can't break my promise." _His father used to do that to him all the time._

"Walter." Her voice was soft. "I know you promised him you'd be here for his birthday, but...you know what else you promised him?"

Walter thought back. He promised Ralph a lot of things. He promised Ralph that he'd never stop loving the boy's mother. He promised Ralph that they could build him a laptop together. He promised Ralph that...

"You promised him," Paige said, her voice sounding like it was painful for her to draw breath, "that you'd be here. Drew missed all his birthdays. But...Drew misses everything else now, too. He misses Christmas and Independence Day picnics and first days of school and he misses little things like when his face lights up, and he doesn't get any of his rare hugs, and he doesn't get to hear his laugh and he doesn't get to listen to the way he speaks and shares that brilliance of his with the world and you'll miss all that too, if you take risks and get yourself killed. And he will miss you. And there will be a lot less of his laughing and smiling and lighting up." He heard her draw a breath. "I want you to keep all your promises to him, but that's an impossibility for any parent. You promised him you were going to be his Dad. That's a bigger promise than waking him up on his birthday. He'd rather you be there on all the other days. And...I know this is about you and Ralph right now, but Walter...so do I. Just stay alive. That's more than enough for us."

Walter was silent. He did believe he could do this without detection. But...but if he was absolutely sure, he wouldn't be running it at a quarter speed to begin with. There was risk involved. And Paige was right. He imagined her having to tell Ralph he'd never come home. He imagined them not being able to say a proper goodbye, as his body would be thrown into a mineshaft or incinerator or whatever method these people would use to make sure they wouldn't have anything to bury. He imagined Ralph having to live every special moment of his life – the big and small ones – without him. Walter thought about Megan. He thought about his father and Ralph's father and Sylvester's father pulling away from them. He thought about Ralph and Paige.

"Okay," he said quietly into the phone. "I'll continue as I am."

* * *

"Ralph." Paige knocked on the doorframe. "It's time for bed."

The boy looked up from his laptop. "Already?"

"You may be almost thirteen, but it's still your bedtime."

He smiled, closing the laptop and setting it on the bedside table. Paige crossed the room and drew the covers around him, tucking him in as he thankfully still let her do. She leaned down and kissed his forehead.

Ralph bit his lip. "Mom?"

"Yeah, Ralph?"

"Have you heard anything about Walter?"

Paige sighed. "Well, Ralph," she said, "he ended up having to stay overseas a little longer. The download was taking longer than expected and there was always the possibility that the terrorist cell would pick up on his actions and location and..."

"Is he okay? Is he going to be okay?"

The pain in her son's eyes jabbed straight into Paige's heart. She put her hand on his chest over the blankets. "Yeah, baby. He won't be home until tomorrow afternoon, but he's going to be fine."

"You promise?" Her son's eyes were as wide as saucers. "You promise he's coming home?"

She nodded, a small smile on her face. "Yeah. Yeah, I promise."

Ralph sat up, leaning forward, and Paige pulled him to her, his head buried in her chest, his arms sliding under hers and clinging to her. Paige rested her chin on the top of his head.

* * *

Walter had a key to Paige and Ralph's condo, he had for a long time, but he still knocked when he made it to the door. He was exhausted, he was home over twelve hours after he thought he'd be when he left, and he still didn't live here – not technically.

He felt rejuvenated the moment the door swung open and he saw Paige. She smiled – that beautiful smile – and stepped into him, wrapping her arms around his middle. He slid an arm around her back and brought the other up so his hand rested in her hair, and they stood quietly just outside the door, rocking slightly from side to side. She pulled back after a long moment, her arms still around him as she looked into his eyes and whispered, "I'm so glad you're safe."

He kissed her, briefly, and then she moved aside so he could step inside the condo. "Did you see?" Paige asked, gesturing to the room closest to the window facing the street. She smiled. "We left the light on."

Walter smiled. "Is Ralph around?"

"He's napping in his room."

"Ralph never naps." Walter frowned. Paige averted her eyes and shifted her weight. "Paige, what's wrong?"

She bit her lip. "He just didn't sleep much last night. He was so worried about you." Her voice cracked. "I told him you were okay but he just...he was so scared that you weren't going to come home."

She had been, too. Even after he promised her he would stay cautious. Walter imagined her spending all night fixating on the chance that they'd find him anyway.

Walter reached for her hand, feeling her fingers curl immediately around his. "Come in his room with me."

She smiled.

Walter pushed Ralph's door open gently, revealing the boy laying on his side on top of the covers, eyes closed and hand laying limply on the mattress. He and Paige walked across the room. Walter leaned over with his free hand and shook Ralph gently by the shoulder. "Ralph, hey. Wake up."

The boy stirred, opening his eyes with a frown and focusing on the people in front of him. After a moment, he seemed to gain clarity, and his eyes grew wide as he sat up. "Walter!"

Walter dropped down on the bed, still holding Paige's hand. "I know it's not first thing in the morning," he said. "But happy birthday, buddy."


End file.
